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funny golf audios - how would you like a seven iron up your ass

by Carolyne Spinka Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago

Why did Jim Bob show up at his golf club?

Jim-Bob showed up at his golf club one day to discover that the club had begun a program using seniors as caddies. One day a week, the club replaced all its regular caddies with senior citizens.

Where does Bud the golfer drift?

Bud the golfer sets off on a round-the-world trip in his new boat, but he winds up veering off course and gets lost. He drifts onto a deserted island, where he is stranded, all alone.

How many holes does Debra play golf?

In fact, Ray has been teaching Debra to play, and this is going to be her first full 18 holes of golf .

What is the 17th hole of Sawgrass?

The Water Ball. A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass exactly the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the small green that is on a small spit of land. It was something the golfer had tried hundreds of times without success.

Where are Miguel and Wesley playing golf?

Miguel and Wesley are playing golf at their favorite course, but on every hole they are being held up by a twosome of women who are always half a hole ahead.

Did the golfer ever use a new ball on a hole?

It was something the golfer had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball had always fallen short, into the water. Because of this, he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick, as did many other "average" golfers when negotiating very challenging holes.

Was Bob a religious golfer?

Bob was a religious golfer. Every Sunday morning, he headed to the golf course. It didn't matter what the weather was like. It could be raining and cold, but Bob didn't care. It was off to the course. Every single Sunday morning for years.

Dirty Golf Jokes

Are you looking for some funny jokes? Spice things up with these dirty golf jokes. Make your partner smile with these adult golf jokes. That I am sure of will make your day full of joy!

Short Golf Jokes

Playing golf is fun and exciting, but these Short Golf Jokes will make your game enjoyable. So what are you waiting for? Check it out now!

Funny Golfer Jokes

Whether you are watching or playing golf, everyone loves a good golf joke that’s why we’ve rounded up these Funny Golfer Jokes that you and your friends can laugh about!

Knock Knock Golf Jokes

Sometimes a good joke can lighten up the mood. Well, I bet that these Knock Knock Golf Jokes can knock you up in the ground laughing!

Extra: Golf Jokes for Seniors

A lot of Seniors love playing golf and also, they love jokes. Therefore we’ve combined it together and compiled these hilarious Golf Jokes for Seniors that I’m sure you’ll like.

How to get consistent with 7 irons?

To become more consistent with the 7 iron, use these tips to help the rhythm of your swing: Slow down the backswing by half of what you are currently swinging. Keep the weight more on the front leg when setting up to the ball. Hold your finish for three seconds looking down your target line.

How to put a 7 iron on your hip?

Grab your 7 iron and set up to your shot. Narrow your golf stance and put more weight on your front hip. Take 2 small steps towards the golf ball, raising the 7 iron more up on its toe. This stance will feel similar to a putting stroke.

How far should I hit a 7 iron?

After watching hundreds of golfers ranging from beginners to professionals, the average distance I see the 7 iron travel is around 120 yards (men) and 80 yards (women).

How to get better contact with a 7 iron?

If your golf ball isn’t traveling this far with the 7 iron, here are a few tips you can use to get better contact: Play the ball in the middle of your feet. Press the hands over the golf ball and put more weight on your front hip. Rotate the hips during the swing and hit down at the ground, not the ball! Follow through transferring your weight all ...

How far can a PGA Tour golfer hit?

PGA Tour Golfers. Golfers on TV are the best in the world. For men, they usually hit their 7 iron 185 yards. For women, they often hit their 7 iron 160 yards. Most pros have spent their entire lives swinging golf clubs which is why they can hit the ball such far distances.

What is an advanced golfer?

Advanced Golfers. Advanced golfers are defined as players who can shoot an 18 hole score of 82 or better. These golfers usually have superb distance control and can hit the ball a lot further combining clubhead speed and sweet spot contact. Advanced golfers can hit the 7 iron 165 yards (men) or 140 yards (women).

What is a 7 iron?

A 7 iron is a golf club that is classified as a mid-iron and usually ranges between, 29-33 degrees of loft. Because it is towards the middle of the golf bag, the 7 iron can be used to hit a wide variety of golf shots: Going under trees. Golfing over trees. Chipping (learn how at the bottom of the post)

Why do golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy?

You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.” —Sam Snead. “Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh .” —Unknown. “One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.” —Don Carter.

What is the difference between golf and government?

Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” —Tiger Woods. “The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.” —George Deukmejian. “A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.” —Unknown.

Who said "missed the ball and sank the divot"?

Missed the ball and sank the divot.” —Don Adams . “Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.” —Unknown. “If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.” —Lee Trevino.

What do golfers love more than golf?

The only thing golfers love more than golf is some funny golf jokes. These un-fore-gettable puns, one-liners, and jokes will have you rolling on the green between putts and can ease the pain of a bad round. The best part is if no one laughs at your golf pun, you can call a mulligan and try the next one on the list!

Why does the first guy hit the imaginary ball?

The first one indicates because they are equal in their score that he should hit first. So he tees off with his imaginary ball. “Look at that, a beautiful shot just on the edge of the green.”. The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has also landed on the edge next to the other ball.

Why do golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy?

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh. 59. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Giphy.

Why do they tee off with imaginary balls?

They soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls. After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less than eagles, birdies, and pars, they reach the 18th hole.

What does golf teach kids?

Golf is about much more than hitting a hole in one. It teaches honesty, how to go with the flow, focus, problem-solving, and patience. You can also do a lot with a polo shirt and khaki pants. Plus, how many sports give you the freedom to traverse a field filled with greenery and beautiful ponds. If you’re trying to get your kids to fall in love with golfing, telling them these jokes might do the trick. Golfing may not be filled with as much contact as rugby or hockey, but this solo game can be just as exciting and hilarious.

What hole did the young man hit the first hole in?

On the first hole, which was a long par four with water to the right and a deep ravine to the left, the young man took out a brand new sleeve of balls, teed one up, and immediately hit it into the water on the right. Undaunted, he pulled another ball from the sleeve and hit that one into the ravine, as well.

How many holes do Nick and Lou play?

Nick and Lou head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Nick says to Lou, “Let’s say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day.”. Lou agrees and they enjoy a great game.

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