How many of your favourite golf jokes are there?
It's a game which can be enjoyed no matter what age you are, with millions of golfers playing and having a laugh every single year. And, like most sports, there is also an array of jokes available for you to use on your golfing mates when you are next up at the club for a round of 18. We have listed our 20 favourites. Check them out below.
Are there any one-liners in the golf jokes section?
That means that we have one-liners, two-liners and even a few three-liners. But mostly, it means the jokes here are of the short variety. (Longer jokes and story-style jokes can be found on our Golf Jokes section, and you can also check out a collection of Tiger Woods jokes .) Ready to Yuk It Up? On to the Golf Puns and One-Liners
What did one golf ball say to the other golf ball?
A: It’s still your turn! Q: What did one golf ball say to the other golf ball? A: See you round. Q: Where did the golfers go on their date?
How many holes in a golf game?
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf got its name because all of the other four-letter words were taken.
What are some golf sayings?
19 Different Golf Sayings For Good LuckGood Luck.Enjoy The 19th Hole.Hit 'Em Long And Straight.May The Fores Be With You.Play Well.Swing Easy.Only Birdies.Have A Great Round.More items...•
What are the chances of getting hit by a golf ball?
If you are someone that plays golf every day, your chances are slightly higher; if you live on a golf course, your chances will increase as well. The bottom line is that getting hit with a golf ball completely accidentally is very rare, much lower than 1%.
Has anyone been killed by a golf ball at a tournament?
CHINO HILLS, Calif. At the country club, thousands of golf shots are hit every day, perhaps more than a million each year. It's rare when a golf ball actually hits somebody, and even more rare when someone is killed.
How do you compliment a golfer?
The right way to praise your golf-loving kids And the good news is that in golf that's actually pretty easy. “You're such a fantastic putter!” becomes “You work so hard on reading greens.” “You always hit your driver so well!” becomes “It's interesting that you took two practice swings before that drive.”
How rare is a hole-in-one?
According to the National Hole-in-One Registry, the odds of the average golfer making a hole-in-one are 12,500 to 1.
What is the most common golf injury?
The 5 Most Common Golf Injuries (and What to Do About Them)Back Pain. ... Rotator Cuff Injury. ... Tennis Elbow and Golf Elbow. ... Knee Pain and Damage. ... Tendinitis in the Wrists.
Has anyone fallen off at TopGolf?
Essex crime: Clacton man died from spine injury after 'falling from height' at TopGolf Chigwell. An Essex man who 'fell from height' at a golf driving range has died from his injuries.
What happens if a golf ball hits a spectator?
If your ball is moved by an outside influence, such as an animal or a spectator, there is no penalty to anyone and the ball must be replaced. If your ball is moved by a natural force, such as wind, water, or gravity, you will usually play the ball from its new location without penalty.
Has anyone died from golf?
While there are many reports of fatal accidents on golf courses, a surprisingly low amount are from golf balls themselves. However, these fatalities do occur infrequently. For example as recently as February 2018, a New Zealand man was struck and killed by a golf ball while teeing off.
What do you call someone who loves golf?
Noun. 1. golfer - someone who plays the game of golf. golf player, linksman. driver - a golfer who hits the golf ball with a driver.
What is a good golf shot called?
Backhander:When you hit the ball casually with the back-side of the putter to “Hole” a very short putt.Banana Ball:The ball travels in a ”banana-shaped” curve. A very sharp fade shot known as a “slice”.Barkies:Hitting the golf ball at trees and obtaining a good score despite it.Beach:Term used for a sand bunker.5 more rows
What does yelling fore mean in golf?
to alertGolfers yell fore to alert other golfers that they may be in danger of getting struck by their ball. You should always yell fore if you're unsure where your ball will land, and it is at risk of hitting a golfer. The term fore likely originated from the term forecaddie, although the exact history is unknown.
How many times did a golfer try to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and
A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. But each time the ball splashes into the drink. In utter frustration the golfer said, “Caddie, take my clubs on in, I’m going to jump into the water and drown myself.”. The caddie replied, “I doubt that, sir.
Do golfers carry pepper spray?
They also advise golfers to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear. They say that it’s also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity on the courses. They recommend that golfers be educated so that they can recognize the difference between Black bear and Grizzly bear droppings.
Short Golf Jokes To Tell On The Golf Course
If you’re a golfer, you’ll want to share these jokes with your golfing buddies on social media:
Golf Jokes For Kids And Adults
What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars? Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
Golf Puns And One-Liners
Here are some funny golf jokes to tell the next time you’re on the golf course:
Long Golf Jokes To Tell During A Round Of Golf
Here are some hilarious golf jokes about how hard it is to do well when you’re playing golf:
More Long Golf Jokes
Here are some more hilarious golf jokes that will make you laugh out loud:
How many holes does Lee and Gary play?
Lee and Gary head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, Lee turns to Gary and says, "What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for five bucks?" Gary agrees, and they start their rounds.
What is Miguel and Wesley playing golf at?
Miguel and Wesley are playing golf at their favorite course, but on every hole they are being held up by a two-ball of women who are always half a hole ahead. The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow.
What was James and Tom playing?
James and his friend Tom were playing a round of golf with their wives early on a Sunday. It was a four ball, better ball format with a little bit of cash on the line.
What do golfers love more than golf?
The only thing golfers love more than golf is some funny golf jokes. These un-fore-gettable puns, one-liners, and jokes will have you rolling on the green between putts and can ease the pain of a bad round. The best part is if no one laughs at your golf pun, you can call a mulligan and try the next one on the list!
Why does the first guy hit the imaginary ball?
The first one indicates because they are equal in their score that he should hit first. So he tees off with his imaginary ball. “Look at that, a beautiful shot just on the edge of the green.”. The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has also landed on the edge next to the other ball.
Why do golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy?
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh. 59. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Giphy.
Why do they tee off with imaginary balls?
They soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls. After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less than eagles, birdies, and pars, they reach the 18th hole.
What does golf teach kids?
Golf is about much more than hitting a hole in one. It teaches honesty, how to go with the flow, focus, problem-solving, and patience. You can also do a lot with a polo shirt and khaki pants. Plus, how many sports give you the freedom to traverse a field filled with greenery and beautiful ponds. If you’re trying to get your kids to fall in love with golfing, telling them these jokes might do the trick. Golfing may not be filled with as much contact as rugby or hockey, but this solo game can be just as exciting and hilarious.
What hole did the young man hit the first hole in?
On the first hole, which was a long par four with water to the right and a deep ravine to the left, the young man took out a brand new sleeve of balls, teed one up, and immediately hit it into the water on the right. Undaunted, he pulled another ball from the sleeve and hit that one into the ravine, as well.
How many holes do Nick and Lou play?
Nick and Lou head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Nick says to Lou, “Let’s say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day.”. Lou agrees and they enjoy a great game.
How often do retired men play golf?
Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. One day a funeral procession drives by the course. One man says to the others: “Stop and remove your hats, gentlemen. Show some respect.”
Where is the American golfer vacationing?
An American citizen is vacationing on his own in Ireland. He decides to play a round and is paired with three locals. He takes a few practice swings, steps up to the 1st tee, and proceeds to hook the ball out of bounds. He shakes his head, reaches in his pocket, and re-tees another ball.
How many percent of the time can you hit a 2 acre fairway?
You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10-percent of the time, but hit a 2-inch branch 90-percent of the time. Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well. Two longtime golf buddies were standing on a tee box overlooking a river, getting ready to hit their tee shots. One golfer pointed down the river, ...
What does "I'm not a bad putter" mean?
A: You're standing too close to the ball ... after you hit it. I'm not a bad putter, I just can't catch a break. My golf game is so bad I had to have my ball retriever regripped. Wife: I'm sick and tired of your obsession with golf!