When do golfers tell you what to do wrong?
A: When your golf cart capsizes. If you golf on election day, be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot. The higher a golfer's handicap, the more likely he is to try to tell you what you're doing wrong. Why do golfers hate cake?
Are there any one-liners in the golf jokes section?
That means that we have one-liners, two-liners and even a few three-liners. But mostly, it means the jokes here are of the short variety. (Longer jokes and story-style jokes can be found on our Golf Jokes section, and you can also check out a collection of Tiger Woods jokes .) Ready to Yuk It Up? On to the Golf Puns and One-Liners
What did the golfer say to the other golfer?
One golfer pointed down the river, turned to the other golfer and said, "Look at those idiots fishing in the rain!" Q: How bad do you want to be a good golfer?
Who is the best person to play golf with?
The best person to play golf with is someone who always plays a little bit worse than you do. 45. Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well. 46. In golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you!
How to get better at golf swing?
Make a couple of practice swings with drowsy slowness, then tee your ball a shade higher than usual. Swing at 75 percent of your power, concentrating only on making the center of the clubface meet the ball. Regardless of where the shot goes, keep in mind that you aren't warmed up for your second shot, either: Stretch everything out as you walk to your ball.
What happens if you whine at the golf gods?
If you accept the occasional rotten bounce as the golf gods just doing their job, they'll be more likely to open the gates of heaven at the right time, and give you a good bounce when you need it.
How to win a bet on the first tee?
WINNING A BET ON THE FIRST TEE. Most golf is four-ball match play, so come to the first tee knowing who the best player is, and snag him as your partner. Follow that quickly with the bet you want to make. If you're answering to the other team's proposition, you're already on the defensive.
What to do when you hit a bad shot?
If you're not a music person, kick on the tunes. Ask your buddy if you can try his driver. Go left-hand-low. Play a hole barefoot. Anything to get you to the parking lot with a smile.
What does "in the mood for a laugh" mean?
In the mood for a laugh? Here is a collection of golf puns, one-liners and other short funnies. What does that mean? That means that we have one-liners, two-liners and even a few three-liners. But mostly, it means the jokes here are of the short variety.
What are golf balls like?
Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more. Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course. Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth. Golfer: This is the worst golf course I’ve ever played on!
