What is a good joke about golfers?
A joke about golfers. Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large funeral procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer.
Are punchlines in golf jokes any good?
Verdict: Better and unlike many of its golfing jokey contemporaries the punchline can’t be said to yourself about a third of the way in. Quite quirky for a golf joke and, told in the right manner, might be worth using. “Do you play off scratch?” said one player. The other replied: “I sure am.
What are some of the funniest golf stories you've ever heard?
See more funny golfing stories A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart. Kerry, a 'beautiful' golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him. 'Hey, are you okay, what's your name?'
What did Wesley say to the women on the golf course?
The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow. Finally, after watching the women in the distance as they stood over their putts for what seemed like an eternity, Wesley decided to do something. "I'll walk ahead and ask them if we can play through," Wesley said. He set off down the fairway, walking towards the women.
How can a woman be a good golfer?
Top Ten Golf Tips for WomenBend at the Hips. At times, beginning women golfers tend to bend at their knees rather than tilt their body at their hips. ... Correct Grip. ... Swing Through the Ball. ... Room for Power. ... Increase Resistance. ... Sweep the Ball. ... Shift Weight to Forward Foot. ... Let It Flow.More items...
Do girls like Golfs?
According to Match.com analytics, golf is one of the highest-searched words on the dating site, with heterosexual women searching the term nearly 7,000 times each month. Who knew golfers were that sexy? "Golf is the ultimate gentleman's game, and women crave a gentleman," Helen Fisher, Ph.
Is playing golf attractive?
Saying that you are a golfer makes you appear more sexually attractive, according to new research of the dating app Tinder.
Why do female golfers wear such short skirts?
For golfing women, skirt lengths rose above the ankle, allowing players the ease of motion to swing more freely. Female players sported leather saddle shoes on the links.
What is the attraction of golf?
One of the great attractions of the game is that it is very easy to meet people either by joining a club or simply visiting a course. Golf courses will often make the effort to pair visiting players with others in an effort to get more people on the course at the same time.
Is golf a game for the rich?
Among other reasons, golf is famous to the rich because it is hardly accessible by anyone else. Some clubs can charge an annual fee to let you use their services, but some clubs can charge you more than $100 for a one-time fee. A box of balls costs $50, and the driver is about $500.
Who is the most attractive golfer?
Hottest Male Golfers – Top 15 Best Looking#1: Adam Scott. Adam is every woman's dream man and someone every woman will feel proud to introduce to her friends or even take home to her parents. ... #2: Jordan Spieth. ... #3: Rory Mcllroy. ... #4: Rickie Fowler. ... #5: Graeme McDowell. ... #6: Martin Keymer. ... #7: Dustin Johnson. ... #8: Brooks Koepka.More items...•
Is golf a good way to meet guys?
"Looking for golfers is a nice way to meet a successful man," Elizabeth says. "Golfers and success kind of align. He and I are both pursuing our goals together, and it's awesome." Though the majority of low-handicap women who play golf almost always exclusively seek male golfers, the reverse isn't true.
Is golf a masculine sport?
Golf has been a male-dominated sport for far longer than women have been allowed to play, and this has made it difficult for women to wedge their way into the game without confronting prejudice today.
What do female golfers wear under their skirts?
Leggings Are Allowed Under Shorts. According to the LPGA, short shorts aren't allowed. They also have a rule that leggings under skirts aren't allowed.
What do Lady golfers wear under their skirts?
The skort provides comfort and functionality while still keeping the skirt in fashion. While many golfers still enjoy wearing shorts or three-quarter trousers in summer, the skort has risen in popularity due to the shortening length of skirts. Skorts enable golfers to wear a variety of lengths and styles.
Why do female golfers wear long sleeves?
Popular on the LPGA, these sleeves are worn like a shawl. The company says they block 99.9 percent of UV rays and offer UV protection up to 50-plus. The company also says they help a player prevent overheating.
What is Miguel and Wesley playing golf at?
Miguel and Wesley are playing golf at their favorite course, but on every hole they are being held up by a two-ball of women who are always half a hole ahead. The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow.
How many riders did the first golfer have today?
The first golfer said: "Yes, I had three riders today."
What does "rider" mean in golf?
The pro said: "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it."
How many holes does Lee and Gary play?
Lee and Gary head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, Lee turns to Gary and says, "What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for five bucks?" Gary agrees, and they start their rounds.
What does Lee say to his friend?
Lee looks at his friend with great disappointment. "After all the years we've been friends," Lee says, "you'd cheat me at golf for a measly five bucks?"
Why do golfers say keep your head down?
Keep Your Head Down The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. -Phyllis Diller
What was it called when women cursed and beat the ground with sticks?
Long ago when women cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft . Today, they called it golf.
What happened to Rory in Elmbridge Golf Club?
On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, Rory stood on the first tee at Elmbridge Golf Club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding dress came running up to him, crying. She slaps him in the face, turns and runs away. Rory turns to his golfing friend and says calmly, 'I don't know what her problem is. I distinctly told her only if it rained.'
Who was the smooth operator at Southwick Golf Club?
Golf Handicap. Ralph was a smooth operator, and at Southwick Golf Club's annual dance he attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and began boasting to her. 'You know,' smarmed Ralph, 'they're all afraid to play me.
What happened to Nick's wife Molly?
Molly, his wife told him, 'Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat.' The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for Nick have been set for Saturday at his favourite golf course.
What do golfers love more than golf?
The only thing golfers love more than golf is some funny golf jokes. These un-fore-gettable puns, one-liners, and jokes will have you rolling on the green between putts and can ease the pain of a bad round. The best part is if no one laughs at your golf pun, you can call a mulligan and try the next one on the list!
What is the secret of good golf?
55. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight, and not too often.
Why do golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy?
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh. 59. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Giphy.
Why do they tee off with imaginary balls?
They soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls. After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less than eagles, birdies, and pars, they reach the 18th hole.
What does golf teach kids?
Golf is about much more than hitting a hole in one. It teaches honesty, how to go with the flow, focus, problem-solving, and patience. You can also do a lot with a polo shirt and khaki pants. Plus, how many sports give you the freedom to traverse a field filled with greenery and beautiful ponds. If you’re trying to get your kids to fall in love with golfing, telling them these jokes might do the trick. Golfing may not be filled with as much contact as rugby or hockey, but this solo game can be just as exciting and hilarious.
What to do if you golf on election day?
16. If you golf on election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot.
What hole did the young man hit the first hole in?
On the first hole, which was a long par four with water to the right and a deep ravine to the left, the young man took out a brand new sleeve of balls, teed one up, and immediately hit it into the water on the right. Undaunted, he pulled another ball from the sleeve and hit that one into the ravine, as well.
What happened to the drunk in the club bar?
An argumentative drunk had been looking for a fight all afternoon in the club bar after losing his match, finally aiming a punch at the man next to him. The man ducked and the drunk, losing balance, fell off his stool on to the floor. By the time he’d dusted himself down and picked himself up, his opponent had departed.
What does the groom say to his wife?
As a couple approaches the altar, the groom tells his wife-to-be, “Honey, I’ve got something to confess: I’m a golf nut, and every chance I get, I’ll be playing golf!”
What does a man say to a friend who is playing golf?
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.#N#His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."#N#The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
What do the men say at the end of the golf range?
As the hearse drives by followed by a few cars one man kneels down, takes off his hat and puts it over his heart, and says a prayer.#N#The man next to him says, "Well that's the nicest thing I've ever seen a golfer do!" The man stands up says "Well it's the least I could do, I was married to her for 35 years..."
What happened to a woman playing golf when a bee stung her?
A woman was playing a round of golf when a bee stung her.#N#Fearing an allergic reaction she ran to the clubhouse and told the pro that she had been stung.#N#He asked where and she said between the first and second holes. #N#He replied "your stance is too wide".
What did the groom say to his bride?
"Honey, I have a confession to make," a guy told his bride. "I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season. "#N#"Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a hooker. "#N#"No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight! "
What is the goal of golf?
Just like in their life, the goal is to get the least amount of strokes before you go in the hole
Do guys look for golf balls?
Guys will actually look for the golf ball.
Where is the American golfer vacationing?
An American citizen is vacationing on his own in Ireland. He decides to play a round and is paired with three locals. He takes a few practice swings, steps up to the 1st tee, and proceeds to hook the ball out of bounds. He shakes his head, reaches in his pocket, and re-tees another ball.
How often do retired men play golf?
Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. One day a funeral procession drives by the course. One man says to the others: “Stop and remove your hats, gentlemen. Show some respect.”
