What is a good joke about golfers?
A joke about golfers. Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large funeral procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer.
What did Cadillac say to a golfer?
He replied, “Oh, those are to keep my balls in the air while I’m driving.” To which she commented, “Boy, those Cadillac people think of everything.” A terrible golfer was playing a round of golf for which he had hired a caddie.
What was a terrible golfer doing with his caddy?
A terrible golfer was playing a round of golf for which he had hired a caddie. The round proved to be somewhat tortuous for the caddie to watch and he was getting a bit exasperated by the poor play of his employer.
How did the golfer get out of the rough?
An alien spaceship hovered over a golf course and two aliens watched a solitary golfer in amazement. The golfer duffed his tee shot, shanked his second into the rough, took three to get out of the rough onto the fairway, sliced the next shot into the bushes, and then took a putter to get it out on the fairway again.
How do you compliment a golfer?
The right way to praise your golf-loving kids And the good news is that in golf that's actually pretty easy. “You're such a fantastic putter!” becomes “You work so hard on reading greens.” “You always hit your driver so well!” becomes “It's interesting that you took two practice swings before that drive.”
What do men talk about on the golf course?
Well, golf provides a litany of topics much broader than some may think. Topics include course conditions, weather, equipment, handicap system anomalies, and swing critiques; among many others. There may also be a discussion of the latest PGA results, rules changes, or possibly course history and architecture.
Who said even God cant hit a 1 iron?
More about Lee Trevino's Quote: Even God cant hit a 1 iron His lightning struck happened during the 1975 Western Open.
Why do golfers get to pick up the ball?
Why Do Golfers Pick Up Their Ball on The Green? Golfers pick up their ball on the green to remove it after it has been marked. This gives them an opportunity to clean the golf ball. The foreign materials on the golf ball can cause it to be unpredictable, meaning it could go anywhere when you hit it.
What is bad golf etiquette?
Making *every* putt 2. Saying “get left” when the ball is clearly slicing 3. Not picking up on bad holes 4. Taking many practice swings … only to top the ball 10 feet 5. Talking too much 6.
Why do guys like to golf so much?
"Golf is also a social game [and] one rarely plays alone, so golfers tend to enjoy social situations and have people skills. ' … Golfers can pull themselves away from the desk to relax; they have a passion; and they have enough money to enjoy their passion.
How do you hit a 1 iron?
0:081:281-Iron Golf Swing - YouTubeYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipSo i'm going to keep my feet the closest. Together. And i just draw the line from the target onceMoreSo i'm going to keep my feet the closest. Together. And i just draw the line from the target once again we're going to try to hit the ball. Straight. So i'm going to have a neutral club face.
Who said the more I practice the luckier I get?
golfer Gary PlayerThis famous quote was first said by the brilliant South African golfer Gary Player, but, like the very best quotes, it is of course not just applicable to golf, or even sport, but to the whole of life itself. "The harder I practise, the luckier I get."
What did Lee Trevino say about pressure?
"You don't know what pressure is until you've played for $5 a hole with only $2 in your pocket."
Why do golfers mark their ball with Sharpie?
Having extra lines will help you see the roll of the ball easier and identify if you're pulling or pushing it with your putter. This might be too much for some players but it's a good way to improve your putting on the practice green too. Sharpie is included with this alignment tool but never hurts to have extra.
Why do golfers take off their hats to shake hands?
The simple act of taking off your hat or visor and shaking your playing partner's hand is the way it's always been done and the way it always should be. It's a sign of respect and friendship for the other player, even in defeat.
Do pro golfers use different balls to putt?
Unless the one-ball Local Rule is in effect, the substituted ball could be any brand. On the putting green however, when you mark and lift your ball, you must replace that same ball to finish out the hole. When your ball is lifted, you can almost always clean it (except for a few specific circumstances).
What is a group of golfers that get stuck behind a really slow group?
A group of golfers get stuck behind a really slow group. Four golfers (a doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer) are stuck behind a really slow group of golfers. They start to get frustrated, so they call up the course's pro.
Why are two golfers having an awfully slow round of golf?
Two golfers were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
How many times did a golfer try to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and
A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green. But each time the ball splashes into the drink. In utter frustration the golfer said, “Caddie, take my clubs on in, I’m going to jump into the water and drown myself.”. The caddie replied, “I doubt that, sir.
Do golfers carry pepper spray?
They also advise golfers to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear. They say that it’s also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity on the courses. They recommend that golfers be educated so that they can recognize the difference between Black bear and Grizzly bear droppings.
A man became an avid golfer
So much so that he'd never gotten to know a female well enough to even think about marriage. As the years went by, he realized he'd probably never get married, since he sure wasn't giving up golf.
A golfer is absolutely killing it out on the course. (Long)
He’s playing at one of those residential courses surrounded by beautiful homes.
A group of golfers get stuck behind a really slow group
Four golfers (a doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer) are stuck behind a really slow group of golfers. They start to get frustrated, so they call up the course's pro.
A lady golfer was stung by a bee
So she went back to the clubhouse, and met with the club manager. The manager asked her "Where did you get stung?" The lady replied "Oh, between the first and second holes." The manager then said, "Well, obviously, your stance is too wide."
Japanese Golfer Joke
An American man went on a business trip to Japan. On the night before his last day, he hired a prostitute. All through the night, the woman was screaming and shouting with excitement. The next day, he played golf with a friend who spoke Japanese as a second language. He decided to try some Japanese ...
An Irish man loved his golf, but he was a terrible golfer, it would seem, as he often found himself hunting for his balls in the woods
on one such occasion, he happened upon a leprechaun. whom it would appear he had accidently hit with his errant shot.
another golfer
So a guy is playing golf with his wife. They\`re on the 12th hole and the guy slices his tee shot right into the woods.
What was James and Tom playing?
James and his friend Tom were playing a round of golf with their wives early on a Sunday. It was a four ball, better ball format with a little bit of cash on the line.
What is Miguel and Wesley playing golf at?
Miguel and Wesley are playing golf at their favorite course, but on every hole they are being held up by a two-ball of women who are always half a hole ahead. The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow.
How many holes does Lee and Gary play?
Lee and Gary head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, Lee turns to Gary and says, "What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for five bucks?" Gary agrees, and they start their rounds.
What do the men say at the end of the golf range?
As the hearse drives by followed by a few cars one man kneels down, takes off his hat and puts it over his heart, and says a prayer.#N#The man next to him says, "Well that's the nicest thing I've ever seen a golfer do!" The man stands up says "Well it's the least I could do, I was married to her for 35 years..."
What happened to a golfer who hit his ball into a tree?
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.#N#He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.#N#Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.#N#As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"#N#The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?
Is golfer greenkeeper a joke?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the golfer greenkeeper jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
Why do golfers prefer a golf cart to a caddy?
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh. 59. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Giphy.
What do golfers love more than golf?
The only thing golfers love more than golf is some funny golf jokes. These un-fore-gettable puns, one-liners, and jokes will have you rolling on the green between putts and can ease the pain of a bad round. The best part is if no one laughs at your golf pun, you can call a mulligan and try the next one on the list!
Why do they tee off with imaginary balls?
They soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls. After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less than eagles, birdies, and pars, they reach the 18th hole.
What does golf teach kids?
Golf is about much more than hitting a hole in one. It teaches honesty, how to go with the flow, focus, problem-solving, and patience. You can also do a lot with a polo shirt and khaki pants. Plus, how many sports give you the freedom to traverse a field filled with greenery and beautiful ponds. If you’re trying to get your kids to fall in love with golfing, telling them these jokes might do the trick. Golfing may not be filled with as much contact as rugby or hockey, but this solo game can be just as exciting and hilarious.
What hole did the young man hit the first hole in?
On the first hole, which was a long par four with water to the right and a deep ravine to the left, the young man took out a brand new sleeve of balls, teed one up, and immediately hit it into the water on the right. Undaunted, he pulled another ball from the sleeve and hit that one into the ravine, as well.
Why does the first guy hit the imaginary ball?
The first one indicates because they are equal in their score that he should hit first. So he tees off with his imaginary ball. “Look at that, a beautiful shot just on the edge of the green.”. The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has also landed on the edge next to the other ball.
How many holes do Nick and Lou play?
Nick and Lou head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Nick says to Lou, “Let’s say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day.”. Lou agrees and they enjoy a great game.