How did Gary and Lee find their golf ball?
It's a great game, and the two lifelong friends reach the No. 9 tee box with Gary ahead by one stroke. After Lee hits a great drive, right down the middle, Gary steps up and promptly hooks a ball into deep rough and trees. "C'mon," Gary says to Lee, "help me find my ball. I'll look in this patch of trees, and you look around over there."
What do you need to know about golf?
If you golf on an election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot. 19. Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen, and after a week you need to buy some more! 20. Are you a scratch golfer? I sure am. Every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where the heck it went. 21. Why is golf called golf?
What did the golfer say to the fishermen?
A golfer standing at a tee overlooking a river sees a couple of fishermen and says to his partner, “Look at those two idiots fishing in the rain.” Mike has been involved with sports for over 30 years. He's been an avid golfer for more than 10 years and is obsessed with watching the Golf Channel and taking notes on a daily basis.
What did one man say to another man on the golf course?
Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. One day a funeral procession drives by the course. One man says to the others: “Stop and remove your hats, gentlemen. Show some respect.” One of the other men asks what’s got into him. “I have never seen you show anybody any respect.”
What is golf about?
11. “Golf is about how well you accept, respond to, and score with your misses much more so than it is a game of your perfect shots.” -Dr Bob Rotella
What is the most fascinating thing about golf?
18. “One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot – the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something.” -Peter Jacobsen
Why is golf so exasperating?
“One reason golf is such an exasperating game is that a thing we learned is so easily forgotten, and we find ourselves struggling year after year with faults we had discovered and corrected time and again.” -Bobby Jones
What is the proper score for a businessman golfer?
It is at the same time rewarding and maddening – and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.” -Arnold Palmer. 25. “The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90.
Who said golf is the closest game to life?
You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots–but you have you have to play the ball where it lies.” -Bobby Jones
Who said discipline and concentration are a matter of being interested?
31. “Discipline and concentration are a matter of being interested.” -Tom Kite
Who said "I think it's more than whether or not you win or lose."?
It’s having that opportunity on that final round, final nine, to come down the stretch with a chance to win.” -Phil Mickelson
What is the secret to playing golf?
39. The secret of playing good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight, and not too often!
Why do golfers prefer a cart over a caddy?
42. Many golfers prefer a cart instead of a caddy because a cart cannot count, criticize, or laugh!
What causes more cheating than golf?
6. The only thing that causes more cheating than golf is income taxes.
What to do if you golf on election day?
18. If you golf on an election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot.
Who is the guy in the photo trying to reshape his putter?
Peter Hanson in the photo, trying to reshape his putter.
What does it mean when a sports writer says the ball is smaller?
There is an old adage about sports writing that goes something like this: The smaller the ball, the better the writing.
Do you have to be a professional golfer to love golf?
The thing about golf is that you don't have to be a professional golfer to love the game.
Where is the American golfer vacationing?
An American citizen is vacationing on his own in Ireland. He decides to play a round and is paired with three locals. He takes a few practice swings, steps up to the 1st tee, and proceeds to hook the ball out of bounds. He shakes his head, reaches in his pocket, and re-tees another ball.
How often do retired men play golf?
Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. One day a funeral procession drives by the course. One man says to the others: “Stop and remove your hats, gentlemen. Show some respect.”
Dirty Golf Jokes
Are you looking for some funny jokes? Spice things up with these dirty golf jokes. Make your partner smile with these adult golf jokes. That I am sure of will make your day full of joy!
Short Golf Jokes
Playing golf is fun and exciting, but these Short Golf Jokes will make your game enjoyable. So what are you waiting for? Check it out now!
Funny Golfer Jokes
Whether you are watching or playing golf, everyone loves a good golf joke that’s why we’ve rounded up these Funny Golfer Jokes that you and your friends can laugh about!
Knock Knock Golf Jokes
Sometimes a good joke can lighten up the mood. Well, I bet that these Knock Knock Golf Jokes can knock you up in the ground laughing!
Extra: Golf Jokes for Seniors
A lot of Seniors love playing golf and also, they love jokes. Therefore we’ve combined it together and compiled these hilarious Golf Jokes for Seniors that I’m sure you’ll like.
What is the cliche about golf?
Reality: One of the great cliches about golf is the obsessive behaviour of men. To have a successful married life and play a motherload of golf all year should never be a battle of the wills between you and your loved one, just a carefully crafted and clever plan that has everyone’s needs met, especially yours.
What to say when she says "How did you go"?
If she says: ‘How did you go?’ The answer should be short and succinct: ‘I played well, thanks’, or ‘I struggled a bit today, thanks’. Nothing more, nothing less.
What is the golf widow club?
The Golf Widow Club on Facebook has taken the approach of slight humour, self-deprecation and a list of hobbies to help women whose husbands play too much golf. The site’s Facebook page claims its role is: To support women who find themselves “widowed” on the weekends when their husbands golf.
Do women care about golf?
Trust me, most women do not care about your golf. In fact, they despise you for it. Over time and through the re-telling of thousands of rounds and near-misses … there emerges a simple truth about why your wife’s eyes glaze over each time you whine about missing that four-foot putt. It’s because you’re pathetic.
